As Paperback Jack recently said, the world of publishing is a macho one. Only the toughest egos survive. Only those with the thickest hides and the most robust self-opinion can stand the constant, repeated rejection of their work. Only people who believe in themselves 110% can stand to have their work ignored and rebuffed so often and by so many people. Only winners never quit.
Yet not everybody is so tough. In fact, my experience is that the people who are most sensitive and most intelligent also tend to be the most delicate and fragile. These are the people who are more likely to suffer damage from parents who disparage and diminish their abilities and achievements, from peers who mock their sensitivities, from spouses, employers and friends who tell them they are no better than everybody else, and that they are nothing special.
I have met many people like this in my life. Sadly, most of the people I have known with this crippling combination of intelligence, sensitivity and miserably low self-esteem, have been women. I suspect they simply suffer more oppression than men.
People like this will never be successful as writers. To become published, even the best us must run the gauntlet of rejection and rebuttal. We must bare our souls for the judgement of others, not once but over and over again. And again and again, opening ourselves to dismissal and disinterest, criticism and condescension. Even for the strong, the humiliation is constant, gnawing and destructive. For the weak, for the already-damaged, for the fragile, the mere thought of entering the ring must be unbearable.
Do we really believe that only the strong have stories we want to hear? Do we really feel that the delicate and sensitive among us have voices that should not be heard? Do we really want this part of the human story to be silenced? Do we really value thick-skinned persistence and a towering ego above all else?
Graham, I was about to commend you on your sensitivity until I glanced across and saw the music you have been recently immersed in. I mean to say, ZZ Top’s GUN LOVE?
Yer cred’s shot, pardner.
On a kinder note, the authors may need to be a bit bullet proof but perhaps their subjects have more freedom to be fragile. Yes, the question still remains – do we ever hear from the hurt and delicate at any time or are all of thier experiences filtered through a more robust third party? I suspect we do hear from these folk but they would certainly be in the minority of published works.
I’m just sayin’, that’s all. No offence.
No, you’re right, Terry. Some must get through, even in a system as bruising as this one. But I don’t suppose there are many.
And yes, it means that it’s down to us – the robust ones – to give them a voice though our work. But how well can we do that? How easy is it to imagine someone so different from yourself and say what they would say? And wouldn’t it be better if they just said it themselves?
The trouble is, how do we ever encourage such people to speak up? Writing is not that different to any other business. The kinds of people who do well at it have the same toughness and determination, the same social skills and single-mindedness that leads to success in all fields. As long as writing is a business and there is money at stake, I don’t see how that will change.
And as for the ZZ Top stuff, I have to say, it’s not my favourite. I occasionally listen to web radio stations and have to take the rough with the smooth.
This resonates. It really does. I want to think there is a way around it, but the world is tough.
There is hope however; blogging being one of the lights in the darkness, for me at any rate. I’ve never before had so much support, so much encouragement. I remember the lonely days of writing before participating in this life online, and urgh, it was horrid. Perhaps we can encourage each other enough online to brave the harsh realities, enabling people (like me!) who would constantly shy away from the arena to at least try.
I certainly take encouragement from the writers I know – including yourself. In fact, I take it wherever I can get it.
I had a rejection slip from an agent a couple of weeks ago – literally, one of those photocopied slips of paper saying it wasn’t right for the agency (I haven’t seen one of those for ages!) – but the agent had scribbled two sentences on it to personalise it, praising the writing and the pace of the book but saying she (“personally”) didn’t like the plot. I actually found it quite encouraging.
Just shows how little it takes!
Hi again, meant to comment on this over the weekend but got drunk and went AWOL! This is a heartfelt post and I got a lot from it. Agree with you and Emma that online conversations make the process a lot easier. If the work’s got promise then (theoretically) someone notices and a small snowball starts to roll. Confidence comes with it. But I just wanted to note my appreciation of the post, really.
Those little personal touches are like sips of water in the desert aren’t they? Keep at it, I think you’re fabulous, and even though that means nothing to the publishing world, it means a helluva lot to me
)
In that case, Emma, the way forward is obvious. You need to start your own small press publishing house.
How hard could it be?