Top 5 Tips for Authors Doing Radio Interviews

Fresh from my first ever web radio interview, I am now a world expert. (You can see just how expert I am at this by downloading the MP3 recording of the show I did yesterday with the lovely Nanci Arvizu, who does the Page Readers show on BlogTalkRadio.) And, on the basis of this extensive experience, I offer all writers the following advice:

1. Your interviewer will send you a list of questions or topics they hope to cover in the show. Glance at it briefly, saying “Yeah, yeah, no problem,” to yourself, and then put it out of your mind. As each question comes up in the show, you will find you recall seeing it on the list. This will momentarily distract you from the fact that you never did get around to thinking of a good response.
2. There may be questions that are highly relevant to promoting your new book (these sound something like, “Tell us about your book.”) and ones which are somewhat irrelevant (questions like, “Tell us something about your background.”) You will find the less relevant ones are easier to answer. Rambling about your poor working-class background and the benefits of socialist educational policies is a good way to fill up your half hour and will save you from having to say anything that potential readers might want to hear.
3. Don’t worry about burbling at length about your strange and involuted relationships with your characters. If the interviewer is skillful and takes pity on you, she will cut you off eventually with another question. Whatever you do at this point, try not to sob with relief and gratitude, it will prevent your from hearing what the interviewer has asked you.
4. If at any point your head is buzzing and swimming so much that you do not hear the question you were asked, pick on any word you think you might have heard and invent a plausible question that might have been asked. Answer it confidently. If the interviewer seems confused, rest assured, the listeners have probably all gone out to make a cup of tea by then.
5. Remember, you have set yourself the goal of at least mentioning your blog URL. When the interviewer, after what seems like just five minutes, starts thanking you and saying goodbye to the audience, you must stop her at all costs. Interrupt her repeatedly, raise your voice, become abusive, do whatever it takes to stop that flow of pleasantries so you can give out your URL. Even if, halfway through spelling out your 85-character address, you realise the interviewer had just been saying it would be up on the website after the show when you told her to shut her f***ing mouth and listen for chrissake, keep on doggedly to the end. The listeners will appreciate your determination.